bouncing around my recollection

"Maybe I'll push him down a hill and he'll get anmesia!"

"Should I shower before I go hang out with that kid?"
"Do you want him to be attracted to you?"
".....no."
"Then don't shower."

"Well, I'm just making this up now so we're going to move on."

"Joey, Jo is a girl. It's short for Josephine."
"Oh, it's a girl on girl thing!"
"Why would you think that?"
"Well, Jo has a crush on Laurie."

"Trevor!!! We were just talking about a crazy rapist attacking us! I am going to kill you!"

"Wife, hold my keys."
"When did I become your wife?"
"I don't know where that came from, it just fit the situation so well."


"I want that chocolate."
"No you don't! You want a cough drop!"


"It was one of those awkward 'I don't know if he saw me' moments, but then he touched me and now I'm like 'EEEEEEEEE' :):):)"


"It's time for my Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Today it's 'why he would not eat them on a train.'"


"Uh, we have a problem. You are texting my girlfriend and it's making her really uncomfortable."

"If that's a dried plum, what is a prune?"
"A dried plum."

"Do you know a guy named John Z?"
"Kristen, your husband is so dumb!"

"Sometimes I eat the cough drops because I think they taste good."

"Don't worry, I won't marry you yet."

"My fishy is in the pumpkin!"

"What is that thing?"
"You wish you knew."